Monthly Archives: August 2011

Behold The Rice Cake Monster

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Picture this.

It’s Saturday, and I’m dragging both my husband and Avery to grocery shop.  I know I could get it done faster if I went alone, but what fun would that be?

Avery’s bottle is due in 2.5 hours, so I obviously have TONS of time to get us all to the grocery store, get the shopping done, and make it back here in time for his you-better-not-be-late bottle. 

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

We’re rounding the corner into the freezer section (I forgot breakfast and a frozen pizza for $2.67 sounded ideal), and then the kicking, fussing monster starts.  Holy hell, his bottle is 20 minutes overdue.  Yeah, my sense of time these days is um…not present.  I, of course, didn’t pack one because that would make it too easy.

Cue the rice cakes.  Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine Avery would look at an apple cinnamon rice cake and then devour it like that crazy blue monster we all love so much.  I had tossed some in the cart at the start of the trip just to see if he’d take to them. 

While the groceries were being bagged, I forked over a rice cake and watched my little man look at the not-too-sweet disc and immediately start nibbling.  He ate the whole thing.  I was impressed.

Cookie Monster is awesome and all, but my Rice Cake Monster is the best. 

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The Change-Up

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Look at that happy couple.  Full of wine and anxious to close the deal on their new house. 

This picture was taken at a good friend’s wedding approximately 3 months before that fateful Friday.  I will forever remember January 15, 2010 as the day I peed on a stick, and my life changed forever.  It was that day that I found out I was pregnant with my son – certainly the most drastically altering day of my life.

Up until this point, this blog has been an inaccurate reflection of me.  While I greatly appreciate all of the full-time-stay-at-home-mommies that can survive on 10 cents a day, home school their children, do all the housework, AND have 6 well-rounded children – I have not been given those super powers. 

My super powers are collecting Guinness-worthy cat fur balls in the recesses of my messy living room, finding new and creative ways of getting dried food off my ceramic floors, making up new songs about anything and everything to distract my son, and finding diapers at less than 20 cents each. 

I just want to be myself – my sarcastic, slightly neurotic, in-it-to-win-it self. 

I’ll be writing what I feel, when I want, and only using a PG-13 filter.  That’s what a blog is all about anyway, right?  I’ve experienced the vise-like pressure of conformity, and let’s just say….Been there, done that, threw away the t-shirt.

At some point, I’ll get around to doing a full bio (in all its glory) on my about page, but until then, I hope you’re not too puzzled by the abridged version.

So back to the photo.  It’s a great reminder of who I was before that fateful January day, and I will forever be in debt to the photographer, but….and this is a big but (ha)…that chapter has ended and the new pages are often writing themselves before I even have a chance to eat breakfast or put on pants in the morning.  The new pages are written by a true master – a boy named Avery.  He is my main focus is life, so why not accurately represent that in my blog?

I’ll leave you with a highly-coveted photo of the great one.  As for me, I’m off to scrape Cheerios off the floor and mainline some coffee.

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Destroyer of the To-Do List

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A year ago, if you asked me if I were a procrastinator, I’d say that my procrastination days ended long ago…when I was 17…Thanksgiving weekend…when I thought the police would show up at my house…and drag me out…kicking and screaming.   What????

Oh yes, everything you read is correct. 

It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving around 6 pm, and I decided to finally clean out my car.  When I got the the backseat, long after “normal business hours”, I discovered the speeding ticket that was due to be paid a week prior.  In a panic, I called the phone number at the bottom (the police department) to discover that there was no one I could talk to about it and yes, that meant that technically there was a warrant out for my arrest.

Cue the hyperventilation, adrenaline rush, and absolute and utter panic attack.

After this horrible incident I decided not to procrastinate ever…again.  Well, with anything serious.

So…when I look at my blog and see that I haven’t posted anything in a month, that forever-burned-in-my-brain panic creeps up, and I wonder, “Why can’t I just write a post?”

See that cute little boy in the picture?  His name is Avery, and HE is the reason.  And to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

These are just a few of the reasons I haven’t written in awhile:

Digging cat food out of his mouth, kissing his finger after his toy bit him, picking up all of the DVDs he’s removed from the shelf (again), collecting yards of toilet paper he’s decided to share with the rest of the house, sweeping up Cheerios and other partially chewed food he’s launched at the floor, pre-treating all of his clothes and their unidentifiable stains, washing his bottles, cutting his food into bite-sized pieces, changing yet another diaper, chasing him, wondering if and when he’ll ever stop 1) drooling and 2) putting EVERYTHING into his mouth….

This list is endless but the big picture it all creates is my cute and happy baby. 

So to all those babies out there who like to destroy your Mommy’s to-do lists, keep on destroying – we secretly love it.